Debt Consolidation Initiation

About Us

Sometimes, you have to run naked across the academic quad. In the dead of winter.

Often times, you just have to drink hard liquor straight from the bottle until you make yourself ill.

Other times, you need to do one-armed pushups while a belligerent senior smashes empty cans of Coors Light against your head.

And every minute of every day, you must respect the traditions and guidelines of this debt relief organization. What makes you think you are worthy of joining the ranks of Alpha Beta Debta, you worthless sack of $hit?

You must show us. Before we teach you the secret handshake, and allow you to pass through the front door, you must demonstrate your mastery of debt consolidation and credit counseling. You must also demonstrate your ability to clean vomit and stale beer from the basement floor three nights a week. But more on that later.

The bottom line? This house is a debt free house. One whose secrets the brothers would lay down their lives to protect. Our philosophy is to educate our members regarding the merits of credit counseling and living debt free, then do keg stands and chase tail until the early morning hours.

It's a tradition we look forward to passing on to you, assuming you survive Hell Night.

Sincerely,

The Brotherhood

Alpha Beta Debta Fraternity

P.S. Your mom's a hoe.